There comes a day in life of every person, when faith deserts him. A whole new world of disasters begins to loom in front. The gates of the nether side of the world open. The demons in all hues and shapes are ready to gulp you down alive and Cerberus(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerberus) is missing.
The faith is Cerberus, our guardian angel which keeps the door to hell tightly shut. The faith that tomorrow will be better than today even though we walk in the fog today. Depression must really be a lack of faith the faith.
But why do we lose faith all of a sudden? The matrix, a movie, holds so many answers. Its the illusion of choice which makes us lose faith. Really we do not have a choice. We are walking the path predestined for us and if we had it laid down in black and white, we would have revolted against it. Just because its written, it cannot be. With the illusion of choice, we have been given the bitter medicine in a sweet pill. Its going to hurt, if it has to and there is absolutely nothing in present that you can do about it. If it has to hurt, you are going to make that choice, no matter plethora of choices you may have today.
Similarly, if there is pleasure in the future, you are destined to enjoy, no matter how much you think before you step into a choice. Thinking, thus, is such a waste of time. Decision is not yours to make. Coins, cards, or stars cannot help you make a choice, simply because its not yours to make. The choices when presented to us, have a way of already being made. We just convince ourselves of the fallacies of other choices against their perceived advantages. We all know this, deep, internally, like in the gut.
Different people make different choices in similar circumstances. It then really comes down to the kind of person you are. The choice that has been made for you leads you to a system where you can survive better than the systems which other choices lead to. A fighter will make a choice which makes him fight and a coward will make a choice so that he remains one. A winner makes a winnign choice and loser makes a losing choice. I wish it was so black and white. Everyone is a fighter at one time, a winner at one time and a coward or loser at another. We all make choices according to the courage we have at that time, at that age, in those circumstances. Its said that we make our choices and our choices make us. I now disagree. I think we make ourselves and choices are nothing but a charade to keep it least painful.
I will take example of my situation here which has really led to this chant. I loved the product I was making. It got shelved because of so many issues. The choices I have now are 1) Stay with my present company and help them chisel my dream bit by bit with the very own hands who shaped her. 2) Go on to do another job which will not come even close to what I was doing so far 3) Go to US where I can find work of my liking, but because of the lack of CS degree and location disadvantage, no company I want to work will take me (also because I am not among the absolute best of the industry) 4) Go to US for MS so that I can get a ticket to enter those coveted campuses and deal with uncertainty of finances, job, stay away from family etc. etc.
The choice has been made, but I am so scared to walk it. I also know, like in the gut, that its going to work out but its the path which scares me. The path is difficult and uncertain but not anything alien which has not been walked before. No matter how hard I try to make other choices, I cannot because, I think, the choice has already been made and I have been offered an illusion. I am still looking for courage to walk the choice. And I am sure I will find it, just enough to walk it. Nothing more and nothing less.
The faith is Cerberus, our guardian angel which keeps the door to hell tightly shut. The faith that tomorrow will be better than today even though we walk in the fog today. Depression must really be a lack of faith the faith.
But why do we lose faith all of a sudden? The matrix, a movie, holds so many answers. Its the illusion of choice which makes us lose faith. Really we do not have a choice. We are walking the path predestined for us and if we had it laid down in black and white, we would have revolted against it. Just because its written, it cannot be. With the illusion of choice, we have been given the bitter medicine in a sweet pill. Its going to hurt, if it has to and there is absolutely nothing in present that you can do about it. If it has to hurt, you are going to make that choice, no matter plethora of choices you may have today.
Similarly, if there is pleasure in the future, you are destined to enjoy, no matter how much you think before you step into a choice. Thinking, thus, is such a waste of time. Decision is not yours to make. Coins, cards, or stars cannot help you make a choice, simply because its not yours to make. The choices when presented to us, have a way of already being made. We just convince ourselves of the fallacies of other choices against their perceived advantages. We all know this, deep, internally, like in the gut.
Different people make different choices in similar circumstances. It then really comes down to the kind of person you are. The choice that has been made for you leads you to a system where you can survive better than the systems which other choices lead to. A fighter will make a choice which makes him fight and a coward will make a choice so that he remains one. A winner makes a winnign choice and loser makes a losing choice. I wish it was so black and white. Everyone is a fighter at one time, a winner at one time and a coward or loser at another. We all make choices according to the courage we have at that time, at that age, in those circumstances. Its said that we make our choices and our choices make us. I now disagree. I think we make ourselves and choices are nothing but a charade to keep it least painful.
I will take example of my situation here which has really led to this chant. I loved the product I was making. It got shelved because of so many issues. The choices I have now are 1) Stay with my present company and help them chisel my dream bit by bit with the very own hands who shaped her. 2) Go on to do another job which will not come even close to what I was doing so far 3) Go to US where I can find work of my liking, but because of the lack of CS degree and location disadvantage, no company I want to work will take me (also because I am not among the absolute best of the industry) 4) Go to US for MS so that I can get a ticket to enter those coveted campuses and deal with uncertainty of finances, job, stay away from family etc. etc.
The choice has been made, but I am so scared to walk it. I also know, like in the gut, that its going to work out but its the path which scares me. The path is difficult and uncertain but not anything alien which has not been walked before. No matter how hard I try to make other choices, I cannot because, I think, the choice has already been made and I have been offered an illusion. I am still looking for courage to walk the choice. And I am sure I will find it, just enough to walk it. Nothing more and nothing less.
